Longing.

The day is 8/12/2024, my life is beginning to become busier once more. School begins once more on the 26th. Stress. Stress. Stress. Loans. Stress.

I recently picked up my Halo Megabloks from about a decade ago, but it's impossible to rebuild sets with missing parts. I've rebuilt 3/4ths of two scorpions and a Red Halo Wars Spartan 2 figurine with a missing a visor. It's kind of depressing to think about.

Yours truly went to the dentist for the first time in a while, and those childhood cavities from years ago have finally matured into a need for fillings. Yippee. On the same day as my urology appointment, but at 6 fucking PM.

I get to see a King Gizzard concert this week, so that should be cool.

I don't sleep much these days, though I should really fix my sleep schedule before school. So tired. But I've had fun. Might play Elden Ring with Lex. Will play Signalis for Martin. Been busy consuming Monogatari at a rapid rate with Sierrakinz. Still playing ow with Lex.

The real reason why I wanted to write this blog is because I truly do wish I could wear jirai kei and gothic lolita clothes. I wish I could be fanciful and ladylike, but I am constricted by an incorrect body type and a starkly contrasting personality that lacks refinement in multiple areas. I still wish to be a consummate business professional, to be a mature woman, to be elegant and drink wine. But, I'm not sure I'll ever be any of those things. I know that I can change, but I question whether I can become the woman I see in my dreams. Then again, I also wish I could be an undying vampire, so, unrealistic expectations I guess...

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